I missed my blog post yesterday because I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was working all day and had had virtually no sleep for the last couple of days. I have realised I need to make a few changes to my life that will stop me neglecting myself, stop me from stressing about everyone else and help me create a calmer life for myself. I am fed up of all the worry I carry about with me. It gets really heavy and serves no purpose whatsoever.
So what am I going to do today that is different. Well first of all I am going to write this blog post. Writing is like meditation for me and just going through the motions means that I am taking ten, fifteen minutes out of my day to do something for me. I don’t do this nearly enough because I either don’t have the time or am tired from running around after everyone else. Secondly I am going to try creating a place of silence for myself at some point in every day (probably when the kids are in bed). It is always a good idea to have some time to sort through my day and get rid of any pressure. I always find that things look better if I write down what is stressing me out so much because it does not seem to have any power when it is written down.
I am going to try to get more sleep. I am going to make sure I go to bed at a more normal time, turn off the music, stop watching late night movies in my bed and see if I can sleep better. Having about four hours a night on a good day is not really enough to let me re-vitalise myself. I feel like I am running on empty on a regular basis and I’m hoping that more sleep will fix that. In order to sleep better I will clear out the clutter from my room. When I have been decorating other rooms a lot of the books, correspondence and magazines etc made their way up into my room and it needs clearing out. I need my bedroom to be a haven for me, I want good lighting, tidy bookshelves, a writing corner and just some space to breathe. Its got to be a good place to start.
So my plan for today is to clear out a few things but also I have company in the form of my brother, my daughter and grandson so I will be repairing my soul with good food (roast chicken is in order) and great company. A little bit of relaxing company and conversation will help me feel human again. I also have to get my writing habit off the ground. I have been sitting on plans for my first novel for some time and these plans keep getting shoved on the backburner because I am forever dealing with everyone else’s problems. So today, most importantly I am giving myself permission to get stuck into a project for me. I am 41 years old and it is high time I put myself first.
Let’s see how long my good intentions last.