Well this is post number two from the couch and today has been eventful. My Granddaughter woke up, ran down stairs, went to the loo and threw up the contents of her stomach. When her uncle (my youngest son) got up he pretended to be ill too because he wanted a day off school. Whenever I went out of the room I could hear him running around and shouting at the top of his voice so I took this to mean he was really okay so I managed to get him off to school. My day was fragmented in that I was out and about, walking the dog, having lunch with my second oldest daughter, got some food shopping then trundled off to my work where I got to chat with one of my best friends in the whole world. When I got home my eldest daughter had fed my kids and hers and cleaned up the dishes. What a treat.
Apart from a few negative thoughts (takes a long time to get rid of these altogether) I have felt the cold wind of positivity slowly returning to me. I spent time out in the sunlight letting the daylight wash over me. A gentle breeze of clear-headed thought returned to me like a welcome visitor of old. Fresh Autumnal air always breathes life back into me. There is just something so refreshing about crisp morning air that makes me happy. I was born in january and I think that is why I always love the winter. I remember traipsing home from school through thick snow and loving the warmth as I entered my house, full of kids, wet shoes and my dad dishing up plates of hot home-made soup or stovies. Now that my kids are getting older there is nothing I love more than picking them up from school, chatting as we walk home then everyone getting into warm pyjamas and watching tv together.
Tonight has been like that. We all curled up in the living room to watch Life Stories – a nature programme narrated by David Attenborough and it felt like I was back in my parents house all those years ago. Some traditions never go out of fashion. Now all my kids are sleeping and I have a few moments to contemplate my day. I have treated myself to a new album. I know its close to christmas and I still have all my shopping to do, I know it is a little bit selfish but I just thought with all the stress I have been under lately that one thing lacking in my life is the healing, calming power of music. I usually spend my days with music in my ears and use it as a tool to shut out the world. I really think this small amount of money spent on myself, that lifts my mood, gives me inspiration and restores a mental balance to my chaotic life is a necessity rather than a frivolity.
I should be sleeping – readying myself for another busy day but i’m writing this blog post as I watch The Searchers – one of my favourite John Wayne movies that reminds me of my dad and growing up. I just wanted to indulge the way I was feeling, open up about how my life is going and pander to my own senses for the first time this week. I have my writing pad next to me because I am feeling poetic and reflective and I have not written a poem in so long it seems. Maybe tonight will be the night.