This morning was glorious, me and the dog, in sync, walking happily in the sun, him diving in the river and running free, me watching him and smiling. Walking up hills, through mud, over fields, over gorse bushes, through ferns, through trees, up hills, over bridges into the horizon. Not a care in the world, not a thought in my head, not a worry, not a single stressful thing. Absolute heaven – knowing my kids were all settled at school, I had the day off and I could just disappear, let go and be me.
I become a different person when I am out walking. I carry myself differently and am carefree. I have never felt this light in years. Its a revolution of titanic proportions in my head. I do not attach myself to every little problem and am fighting like hell (with myself) not to take on the problems of the world. I actually like myself wholeheartedly when I am out – away from civilisation. I want to hop, skip and jump, dance, scream, laugh, sing and bounce through my walks. I feel about twenty pounds lighter and thirty years younger. Its like walking through that portal takes years off me. If anyone wants a feel younger quick fix – get a dog and walk, everyday, anywhere. I feel inspired, youthful and happy. Dare I say it HAPPY.
I have never been so ready for life as I am now. I have beautiful, intelligent children who I love with every fragment of my being but it is only now that I am finding me. I am seeing through all the responsibility and seeing me – my needs, my opinions, my thoughts and my freedom. I am working up to liking myself but for now I see glimpses of the me I want to be on my walk. The me that I really am.
When I get home I want the television off, meals at the dining table and conversation. I want to squeeze as much life as I can into every day. If there is a chance to do something fun and different I am going to say yes. I am going to jump at opportunities that come my way with vigour and enthusiasm. Life is far too short to be cooped up waiting for life to happen. I hope a wee bit of my enthusiasm rubs off on others because I think I may have too much. Its always good to share.