I had a terrible start to my day. The kids were playing up all the way to school and as a result we were late. I felt like I was running to catch up with myself all morning. I even went for a quick walk with my buddy Zeke and we ended up meandering along our usual route with no clear direction. Today I just got up with no vigour and it filtered down throughout the rest of my day.
The heavens opened not long after my walk and I went to work feeling quite sombre. I watched the rain fall ferociously and longed to be out in the wet, refreshing air. I have been feeling cooped up in so many ways. I think my walks have methodically became my mantra. My meditation and my saving grace. I pine for the solitariness of my walks, the instant letting go and relaxation it brings me. My daughter told me that her friend has noticed a difference in my weight, my mood and my general demeanour. In fact she said I looked like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and such is the power of my walking.
I know its only a small change to make in my life but I feel the benefit. Yes I still have low moods now and again but who doesn’t? Yes I am not always a bundle of joy but I am working on it. I feel connected to the world in a way that I never have before and it has cleared out a lot of the stress I was feeling. I have de-cluttered my life in so much as I am no longer spending time on things that do not really matter. That includes certain people. I feel like I have slowly taken control back of my life.
I am going to be having an early night, maybe read a book or write a poem or two. I have a couple of days off work and apart from loads of walks with Zeke I have nothing else planned except pampering myself. It has been a very long time since I did anything girly just for me.