But its raining in my heart


I had a terrible start to my day.  The kids were playing up all the way to school and as a result we were late.  I felt like I was running to catch up with myself all morning.  I even went for a quick walk with my buddy Zeke and we ended up meandering along our usual route with no clear direction.  Today I just got up with no vigour and it filtered down throughout the rest of my day. 

The heavens opened not long after my walk and I went to work feeling quite sombre.  I watched the rain fall ferociously and longed to be out in the wet, refreshing air.  I have been feeling cooped up in so many ways.  I think my walks have methodically became my mantra.  My meditation and my saving grace.  I pine for the solitariness of my walks, the instant letting go and relaxation it brings me.  My daughter told me that her friend has noticed a difference in my weight, my mood and my general demeanour.  In fact she said I looked like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and such is the power of my walking. 

I know its only a small change to make in my life but I feel the benefit.  Yes I still have low moods now and again but who doesn’t?  Yes I am not always a bundle of joy but I am working on it.  I feel connected to the world in a way that I never have before and it has cleared out a lot of the stress I was feeling.  I have de-cluttered my life in so much as I am no longer spending time on things that do not really matter.  That includes certain people.  I feel like I have slowly taken control back of my life. 

I am going to be having an early night, maybe read a book or write a poem or two.  I have a couple of days off work and apart from loads of walks with Zeke I have nothing else planned except pampering myself.  It has been a very long time since I did anything girly just for me. 



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