Well – what can I say indeed. I did not start the decorating, I did not start the painting, I did not start the writing but I did turn my house upside down looking for those damn keys. All to no avail. I know the minute I finish getting new keys and locks sorted that I will find these keys. I just know they are going to turn up again probably when I least expect it.
I have some good news today but I will keep it to myself until next week. I do not want to jinx the vibe. trying to be positive when everyone around me is overdosing on the negative. I seriously need to bolster my self esteem this week though. If anyone has any suggestions for quick self esteem lifters please let me know. I could really do with immediate help.
I have cleared some actual space in my bedroom and this in turn cleared out some mental space in my head. Space that is incredibly important right now. I would love to clear a little more space. Some days I can visualise the end result of my decorating endeavours but I still have a long way to go. I have been keeping a collage journal. This is made up of articles, words, pictures and any old things that take my fancy. These are all being kept and rearranged into some order and can be used for inspiration or just for making some general statements on how I am feeling.
I know it is not much but spending even a little time every day with the thoughts in my head is allowing me to breathe a little easier, I am sleeping better, I am coping better with everything just because of this insular activity where I put something down on paper. I have felt guilty for so many years for taking any time for myself but it is only now that I am letting myself off the hook a little. My younger kids are in bed early for school and this frees up a lot of me time. Especially when I am not frantically looking for lost keys.
I picked up a new book to read from my work and it is the first time in ages I got excited about one. I will let you know tomorrow if it grips my imagination in the first few pages. I am off to bed now because my weary brain needs the rest.