I did the usual school routine and was supposed to go and meet my friend for breakfast today. Instead I went for a walk to clear my head and make sense of a few things. I ended up out walking for over two hours. I went out to a local place called The Blue Pool which is a brick lined structure filled with the strangest looking blue water. At the first glance the water looked like it was reflecting the trees that surrounded it on one side but on closer inspection it was fallen branches and other things in the water that you could see as clear as day. It really was quite bizarre, creepy and strange all at the same time. It turns out that no-one really knows what this structure is for but it gave me quite a few ideas for stories.
I was overjoyed to find this little pool because I have been devoid of inspiration and have been struggling to break out of my daily routine and get some proper writing done. Inspiration for poetry is easy to come by but this pool gave me loads of possible ideas. This walk had several effects on me:
1) it made me want to take loads of photos and I do not tend to need visual aids for my stories but this pool was just too fantastic not to take some photographic mementoes with me.
2) the walk was mostly uphill and I really needed to push myself to go and find the pool. I have not faced a physical challenge for a while so today started off with me feeling invigorated.
3) I had the freedom to walk with my ipod blaring in my ears and was able to walk about singing because I knew no one was going to hear me and if they did I did not actually care.
4) I needed to get out of my own headspace for a little while, I needed to look at my local surroundings in a different way and this walk helped me to do that.
5) I seriously needed the exercise.
So when I got back from this walk I did some research on The Blue Pool and came up with loads of theories but no definitive answers as to why and what this pool is. I now feel like I am on a mission and that I have a mystery to solve. My brain needs this kind of distraction these days. I have been bogged down with family issues and obligations as well as needing to sort my kids for school so today was a brilliant u-turn away from all of that. I have some mental stimulation for once as i have been feeling seriously underwhelmed by the mediocrity of my life as of late. Don’t get me wrong i love my kids and spending time with them but it is really good to have something that is just for me. My writing embodies me taking time out for myself and I need to continue with the plan as if my life depended on it.
This weekend will be filled with spending time with my kids. It will also be filled with loneliness because I wont be able to have the planned night out with my friend because she has decided that she has other people she needs to be spending time with. I am not feeling sorry for myself though I just feel a little sad that a friendship I have had for so long seems to be disintegrating before my eyes. I will get through it though – I always do.
Sunday is supposed to be a day of treating my youngest daughter to some one on one time with me but I may have to take my boys along with me too because I have no childcare – especially at the weekend. I feel a little exhausted tonight – probably due to my walk this morning. I feel like my legs had forgotten how to walk uphill and that my hips have been knocked out of alignment. I guess I am just getting older.