I have been going through a three year period of self reflection. This has shown me a few home truths about myself. These mini epiphanies have been illuminating in so many ways. I have come to certain conclusions:
1. I am a world class procrastinator.
2. I have many qualifications but have no clear path in which to utilise this knowledge.
3. I have clear goals I want to achieve but let fear stand in my way.
4. I have crippling low self-esteem.
5. I have a very poor motivation at the moment as opposed to the fantastic motivation I used to have.
6. I am going through some sort of prolongued mid-life crisis.
My realisations were not all negative though:
A) I am intelligent enough to think my way out of my predicament.
B) I am blessed with a fantastic imagination and if could just make it past my crippling fear then I could maybe carve out a whole new career for myself.
C) I have the loveliest kids and grandkids on the planet and they are a constant reminder that I have already achieved something wonderful with my life.
D) I am a good friend to have (especially in a crisis) and would go to the ends of the earth to help out a friend in need.
E) I am interested in growing and learning new things. I am open to new experiences, meeting new people and enjoying life in general.
I have many new plans to try and improve how I feel about me. I also have plans to work on getting past my fear (mostly taking things one day at a time) and pushing boundaries. I always feel good when I am surrounded by my family so I will try and surround myself with those who mean the most to ne. Most importantly I have plans to get a writing routine. This will begin in earnest when my kids go back to school. I owe it to myself and my kids to follow my dreams.