I have just woken up to the most glorious day of sunshine. My kids however have been that acclimatised to the rain and dreary weather that they are sitting captivated by the light coming from my tv set. I will give them lunch then get them all out in the sunshine. If they can’t find something to do then I will find them something to do. I still remember my dad and mum offering us nice chores to do if we moaned about being shoved out in the sunshine.
I have a lot of things to do today. I have my fantastic daughter coming to take my two youngest kids to her house to stay for the night. I have some gardening to get started. I have some writing to trawl through. I am going back to the beginning – starting from scratch – reading over all my old poems, stories and thoughts I have jotted down over the last few years then I am going to get writing. I am also going out for dinner with some friends and family because my niece turned 18 today.
If nothing good has come out of the last couple of months at least it has given me lots of inspiration for stories and other projects. I have been compiling thoughts, feelings, gossip being distributed about me and other such fantastic untruths lately and it will be fun to turn it into something productive, therapeutic, funny and just let rip with the anger. I would like to see what happens with that – where it all takes me. I have been soaking up experiences, people I meet and have interactions with, places I go, conversations I have and examining the complications of small town life.
I may have been brought up here and lived in this area for all of my life but I am glad to say that my intelligence, my sense of humour, my outlook on life transends way beyond the confines of small town living. I accept that we are all defined by our upbringing and experiences but I am proud of myself for wanting to live outside those boundaries. A respectable life does not have to be forged from ticking boxes that society deems important such as:
1) meeting a nice guy
2) settling down (getting married)
3) have 2.5 kids
4) own your own house
5) live your life in cycle of competition with your neighbours -my house is bigger than your house, my holiday cost more than your holiday, my kids are more popular than your kids, my life is happier than your life and so on and so forth.
6) work in a job that gives you no satisfaction but rakes in the money.
I am really proud to say that I do not own my house, I do not feel like your life has any essential value so I will not be competing with you. I have never been married but shock horror I have five kids. I have never aimed for a life set out by society. I have brains, I have a lot of love to share with the people who are important to me. My kids are clean, happy, independant, clever, funny, talented, gorgeous but I don’t need to shout that from the rafters to know that I am a good parent. I have a job that allows me to feed, clothe and see my kids more often than not. My job does not define who I am, I take no status from it whatsoever. I am constantly indulging in my favourtie pastime of learning, I have an abundance of love, music, stimulation and support in my life and everyday holds the promise of something exciting, new, beautiful and fantastic.
I am looking forward to the future.