I am having a day off today. I am having a week of disappointments and need a day to insulate myself from the hurt that is waiting around the corner. I have been upset with my kids this week, my work and other relationships. I am taking a day to protect my wee brain from imploding and then will get back in the thick of things tomorrow. I am totally fed up of folk twisting things, folk not doing what they say they will and folk thinking it is okay to let people down. I am too old for all this rubbish.
I have came to an understanding with my kids this week and their behaviour has not been too bad. There tidiness leaves a lot to be desired but I will settle for them behaving themselves. Been getting closer to my wee eight year old daughter this week and have been thankful for that time with her. Work has been really getting me down. I am really good at my job and know that I can bring a lot to the workplace but I am having the excitement and joy battered out of me. I am being attacked at every turn but wont let them bully me out of my job. As much as I hate it; I would really like not to be out of work at the moment.
On the relationship front nothing runs smoothly for me. I am feeling a little taken forgranted and invisible today. I am torn between getting in there and sorting it all out and retreating into hibernation so that I stop feeling so hurt all the time. I will take a day to see how things unravel and will reassess how I feel tomorrow. Not in the best of places today but my brain has these little blips as it lets me comparmentalise what is happening before I can move on into the future. I am having a day of feeling alone, scared, unhappy and generally uunloved and unloveable. Tomorrow is another day however.