Weekend Emotions

I have had a weekend of two halves.  Saturday – I woke up with plans and hope in my wee heart but the plans fell through and I had an emotional wreck of a day.  I ventured out of my house to visit some friends and family but the disappointment of the day got a bit much for me and I went home and lay on my bed and bubbled like a baby for a couple of hours.  I had a few messages of support from my sister, friends and older kids and listened to some angry music. 

After a couple of hours of feeling sorry for myself I got angry for two reasons.

1) I let someone else make me feel bad when I should have gone out and done what I wanted to do anyway. 

2) I ruined a perfectly good weekend because I let someone’s feelings come before my own.

This made me sort myself out pretty quickly.  It turned out not a bad night after all because my friend made me feel much better and I got a nice visit too. 

Sunday started off really well.  I started the day feeling much closer to a certain person and we had a really good chat about a lot of things so I felt better about my emotional breakdown from the day before.  I have been enjoying my own company more these past few days so It feels good getting some time to sort out my head. 

I had a lazy mid-day because I tidied my room and felt relaxed and calm for the first time all weekend.  Then I went to my sisters and had a good time chatting with family, having dinner and being surrounded by supportive family members which helped heal any emotional residue from the day before.  I am really lucky.  I need to remind myself of this because there are millions of people out there who are much worse off than I am.  Self pity is not an attractive quality.  I think I just needed to take a moment to acknowledge the emotional pain I was feeling before I move on to the next chapter in my life.  

I have come to some conclusions about my life:

1) I will take it one day at a time and try to pack as much into it as I possibly can.

2) I am really lucky and need to remind myself of that every single day.

3) I am a good person – I need to stop beating myself up on a daily basis.

4) I have many things to be thankful for – especially because of the five wonderful people I brought into the world and raised on my own.

5) I have great things to look forward to.

6) I am more tolerant than most people I know and love meeting new people and trying new things.

7) I can cope with absolutely anything life throws at me.

I will chill out tonight, spend time talking to my kids, maybe watch a movie then have an earlyish night.  I will get to bed at a decent time and see what excitement Monday brings.  I am in love with life today. 




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