I am writing this in a blur of tiredness. I can’t string two thoughts together, my head feels numb and even simple tasks are done clumsily because I am so tired. My kids have been playing up on the way to school again. In the effort it takes to get them to school it totally zaps my energy. I am feeling a little lost and directionless today. Sometimes things seem harder if I don’t have a goal to reach for. I am in limbo – trying to decide which way to go.
I have picked up a few more shifts at work lately but this week I really wish I had no extra hours. I have so many other things I could be doing with my time. I have things to prepare for but because I am working so much and my kids are playing up I really could do with some rest time. Saying this – I don’t really know what to do with rest time – I don’t know how to rest properly. I think my emotions are on a knife edge because i am so tired today.
I need to get a little energy boost, I need to find something to light up my day now that my course has finished, I need to find some focus in my life. I need to stop talking and start looking to see what is best for me. I am going to switch off my brain for the night, I am going to put on some relaxing music and just lie in the darkness and quiet of my room and let my brain wander. I have been stifling my creative juices and need to do something about it as soon as possible. I think tomorrow will be a good day to start.