I have had a good run of days – been happy with all the work in the house, work in general was good and life seemed to be chugging along quite nicely. Today though – I feel like I have been trampled by a herd of cattle. I feel bruised, tired, emotional and flat. At the moment I am looking at all the work I still have to do for tomorrow and debating whether to get stuck in or to just cry. I think the balance is teetering in favour of the crying. Maybe a good cry is all I need to feel right as rain.
I have been relentless in my attempt to get my house in order and the job is much bigger than I had expected. Right now given half a chance I would sleep non-stop for a whole week. I am so so so so tired. As things stand right now I will not be able to have a proper nights sleep until some time at the end of next week. People have been telling me how tired I am looking so maybe I should try and fit in a few hours kip as soon as possible. I am worried that I might not want to get back out of my bed if I do get in there. I think my tiredness has started to show with the weans too because they are playing up because I do not have the energy to keep control of things.
Tomorrow I am hoping that I can get some part of the day to myself. I am desperate for a chance to sleep or just rest. I have lots of work to do but if I can snatch some sort of rest tomorrow then I will feel a little better. A cat nap is that is all I can get will suffice.
I left this post alone for an hour to have a conversation on the phone with my niece. This has made me feel better for a few reasons:
1) I told her my deepest darkest secrets.
2) I laughed along with her laughing and it made me feel better.
3) She inspired me to get busy with another writing project.
4) She is just a joy to talk with.
5) She reminds me of my youth.
6) She makes me feel like my life is interesting.
7) She loves dancing almost as much as I do.
I like the quick turnaround in my mood. I am still very tired but may just give in and go to my bed now. It is an investment in me. I will have more energy tomorrow if I can attain a certain level of sleep. I may have to put some things off till tomorrow as a necessity.