I have just woken up on my couch at 3.50am and I hate it when this happens. This means that my life is getting out of sync again. I also have woken up feeling uncomfortable, unhappy and alone. My living room looks like it has just been hit by a tornado. I wish I had spent the last ten hours in my bed so I could wake up feeling refreshed and positive. My lack of proper restful sleep however is how my body has been running for the last four years. Four hours a night is my usual sleep routine.
I have been working hard though, clearing out rubbish in the house. I have sort of done one room and even this small feat has helped to re-energise my house a little. I have still got a lot of work to do but the fact that I have made a start is a good thing. I also have plans for my final essay in the pipeline and I need to get working on that properly right now because time is running out for me with that. I feel like I am tying up loose ends at the moment but once I get things in order then I can finally get writing religiously every-day – not just here in my blog or the odd poem here and there.
I feel like I may need a vacation though. I am thinking that I will try and get away next year even if it is just to visit family in other parts of the country. My kids have never ever had a holiday and next year would be a good time to start planning for. I would like to have a real break where the kids can relax and get away from the stress of living with me all year. I will start planning now in the hope that next year this holiday does actually materialise.
It has now turned five in the morning and I am going to spend the next couple of hours in my bed before I have to get up for work. I am feeling a little better because the house is cleaner, my washing is all sorted and I know when I get up the house is in some sort of order and I can go to work without worrying about it all. My allergies have just started playing up this year. I am still not looking after myself the way I should be. I think I need to get this sorted out as soon as possible.