Fix you

Some days are harder than others to cope with.  I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else on a daily basis.  If it is not my kids, it is someone else.  I regularly feed others, listen to their problems, help them get over hardships in their lives.  I feel like I am always doling out advice to folk.  Today I feel like I have had enough of this though.  I am a person with thoughts and feelings. I am not a thinking machine that can magically fix everyone.  I cant keep listening to folk whine about their relationships that don’t work, their wee marriage problems or their work dilemmas.  

I usually have the patience of a saint, I usually enjoy helping people or taking time out of my day to try and help.  Today though is the last straw for me.  I have a collection of so-called friends who drain me emotionally every time I talk to them.  People who you ask how they are doing and they spend the next hour moaning about their life and really all their problems are either a figment of their imagination or a problem of their own making.  Not once do they ever stop to ask so how I am?  I am really fed up of self obsessed folk that you know when you bump into them that the conversation is going to revolve around them for a good hour.  Get a grip – other folk apart from you do actually exist.  Friendship is meant to be a two-way thing.  

I am sorry if this surprises you to hear me so angry and not as sympathetic as I usually am.  I am fed up of people who drain me, people who just want to blab on about their boring mundane life as if I should be honoured just to have them stop and tell me about it.  Today I am just tired.  I need to recharge somewhere immediately.  I just can’t take this one sided relationship any more.  If you cant handle me not being there then you need to look at yourself.  If you were really a friend you would ask about my life occasionally.  

As I am a single parent with no-one but my kids for company on a daily basis I am venting here so I don’t hold on to this resentment.  They don’t need an angry mum.  I want to scream or shout at the top of my lungs.  Instead I will just get on with things and have a great time tonight on my night out with friends from the depths of hell.  Roll on six o’clock.



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