Its saturday night and I am alone again. Kids are sleeping, house is quiet and I am sitting in front of my computer downloading music videos onto facebook. This is as good as a saturday night gets for me most weeks. The worst thing about saturdays like this are:
1. Being lonely.
2. Feeling too sad to even watch a movie on my own because I have no-one to discuss it with, or hide behind (if it is scary).
3. Fancying a drink but I won’t drink in the house on my own – that is just a slippery slope to alcoholism and I have had enough of alcoholics to last me a lifetime.
4. Watching popular tv shows like xfactor and britains got talent in an attempt to feel a little less alone.
5. Eating meals on my own.
6. Having no one to chat to properly.
7. Being that lonely that even the worst guy in the world for you looks like an attractive prospect.
8. Just having no-one to destress with after a hard day at work.
The things I like about some saturday nights are:
1. Catching up with an old friend or someone new on facebook.
2. Reading about other folks nights and being a) thankful that I was not out with them, b) glad I wont be sharing in their hangovers and c) thankful that I did not waste money on a crappy night out.
3. Being comfy in my own house and not having to dress to impress.
4. Getting peace to read a book or laze around in my comfy old clothes.
5. Scaring myself silly with a horror film and feeling brave because I managed to watch it on my own.
6. Getting to snuggle with my kids on the couch watching dvds and not having to worry about intrusions, bad moods and huffs from some guy that is jealous because I put my kids first always.
7. Getting to dance about my living room to whatever music I want to when I want to.
I have a love hate relationship with saturdays. Tonight started off hate but now I love it because I had a chat with a friend. I don’t ask for much just a little company or a conversation.