I love my bed. Right now it seems like the best place to be. Why I am still sitting up typing when I could be relaxing, who knows? I am now at a crucial stage in my life on the verge of major changes. I am now in a state of metamorphosis because a career I worked towards is not making sense to me anymore, my kids are all at school now so I have a little spare time that I am still not making the best of and for the first time in my life I have a proper room of my own.
I was brought up sharing a room with my sisters. I went from sharing with them to sharing with my kids either climbing into bed for a cuddle or taking over the bed completely. The times when I was in a relationship the bed was never my own. I spent a good couple of years hardly getting to my bed at all because I kept falling asleep on the couch or worse on the bus. Sleep was never a joy – it just happened out of necessity or exhaustion. Now though things have changed.
My bedroom is a work in progress but having a space where I can shut the door and breathe, listen to music, read a book in peace is a life saver. For years my kids used to follow me everywhere. If I went to the loo they came too or stood outside the door bombarding me with questions. Now that my youngest is five I don’t seem to have that problem any more.
I don’t have kids pulling my stuff out of drawers or opening my face creams etc and destroying everything they find. What I do have is a bed to myself – nothing better than spreading out in whatever direction I want. I can shut the door and know that they will knock before barging in. I am just learning to love the space, the peace and the quiet. I now have a sensory overload when I walk in the door – the mood, the space, two bookcases full of books, some cds, the tv and dvd player where I can watch movies without someone telling me the way it ends. I have writing pads everywhere – some for notes for stories, a couple of journals, poetry and just for inspiration. I absolutely love having a space dedicated to me.
I must admit though I still love getting woken up by my baby when he needs a pee in the middle of the night. I love when my baby girl comes in for a chat or a hug. I love the odd time we all sit in there and watch a film or chat or listen to music. I love sitting listening to the morning routine when they all rush about getting ready for school in the morning. The choking waft of deodorant and after-shave that flows in every morning when my thirteen year old son puts the finishing touches before he runs for his bus. Occasionally when my older daughters come for a visit they will give me fashion advice (sadly needed but rarely heeded) and do my hair.
These things I will cherish and carry with me forever but for now the new relationship that is forming between me and my bed is new and inspiring. I never knew that having my own space could be so liberating. The ideas come quick and easy now, the stress is fading a little – all due to the fact that I have a space that is mine and a little time to enjoy it.
I’m going to bed now for a little recuperation, relaxation and rest.