Exhaustion

Well where do I start.  Emotional is the word for this week.

I have been emotionally drained after this week.  Job hunting, running around after the kids, working six days with absolutely no time for myself.  I have fallen asleep in front of the tv about three nights this week.  Tried watching a movie and failed miserably.  I lasted about five minutes before my narcolepsy problem raised its head.

My kids are all feeling down because I have been so busy and the weather is miserable.  I have been that tired that I have not had a chance to blog.  I feel like this process is the only time I have all week to sort through my feelings, thoughts, worries and stresses.

Last week I escaped to the pictures with my sister and had a laugh.  This week I have been to a few interviews but was told I was a close second for them all.  This is due to the fact that there was already someone picked for the posts before I even walked in the door.  Why bother with the interview if you already know you are giving the job to someone regardless of the skills they have or the skills of the competition.

I just want to be treated the same as everyone else, chosen totally on merit.  Whatever happened to that old chestnut.  It is totally about who you know.  Nepotism is alive and well in libraries.  I think I am done moaning about it all now.  It is time to find some other goal, some more fulfilling occupation.  I can’t bear small-mindedness, I hate being closed in mentally.  I hate the negative emotions coming my way from line managers (apart from one AW you know who you are).

I am removing myself from the control they hold over my future and am going to go in another direction.  I think my blog is going to steer away from this talk.  Even putting any time into talking about them lets them keep their power over me.   Goodbye ladies.

Future here I come.

W

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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