I just heard today the the son of a family aquaintance died yesterday. Apart from the shock of the news I was horrified when I found out what happened. As it is my son’s birthday today I can’t help but feel the pain of the boys mother. I could not even remotely guess at the strength of her pain or the depth of her loss but as a parent I know if this happened to me I would crumble under such devastation.
December is only a few days away and this is no time to be burying a child, grieving for the loss of a life (even worse when he was so young). This time of year is for being together, being a family even when relationships are frayed. It is for coming together and forgetting the fallouts of the past.
My father died on the 30th December and I thought that I would never recover from the pain of losing him. We all made an effort over the next few years of spening time together – remembering his hugs, his laugh and his bad moods or scary hair in the morning. Now the pain still resurfaces year after year. I have learned to cope better but the day always sneaks up on me and takes my breath away.
This year I am going to hold each of my kids a little tighter, tell them I love them so much that they get tired of hearing it and spend every moment I can letting them know how much they mean to me. I will try hard not to get mad with them because I am unbelievably lucky to have the children I have. I have ‘the greatest’ family as my dad would have said.
I know there are loads of families suffering a loss at the moment or watching someone close to them lose the fight for life and I will say a little prayer that their pain heals to a manageable state or that their fight is not prolongued so that they can remember the happy times with their loved one.
I know the pain and devastation will be raw and sore at the moment but maybe knowing how much support, how much empathy and how much good will there is towards you at this sad time will allow you to cling onto hope or let you say goodbye with dignity. My heart goes out to everyone having to deal with this kind of loss at this time of year.
Wishing everyone strength and a shoulder to lean on.