Missing you.

Today I am missing my mum and dad.  Peggy and Mick love and miss you both very much.  I see a bit of you in my kids everyday.

My dad died in 1996 and my mum in 2004. Both from cancer.

Dad was my rock, he made me feel safe every day.  He was a big bear of a man.  He knew me as a person.  He knew I was clever enough to achieve anything I wanted but once he was gone I forgot all about it.  I am trying a little bit, to remind myself daily of what he saw in me.

This bookworm is going to find myself if it is the last thing I do.

The Peggy what can I say about her.

Well things were difficult with us.  I never felt close to her as a child.  My teenage years were spent either trying to avoid her or letting her know that I did not like her.  This was of course just a figment of my own teenage imagination.  She was always there for me – even when I was horrible.

Once I had kids everything changed though.  The Peggy was the best support ever.  She loved my kids almost as much as I did.  I know grandparents are not meant to have favourites but I knew that mine were hers.  I think it was because I was a single parent and she helped me to work by picking my daughters up from school.  I spent every christmas at her house because it allowed us all to feel a sense of family again.

My only regret is that my dad did not meet my sons.  He would have loved them to bits.  They are both creative, strong and dependable like him.  My eldest hugs like him.  Bear hugs that let you know you are alive.  My youngest is full of mischief and fun.

Mum would have loved my baby girl.  She was born 16 days after my mum died.  She has the brown eyes that mum loved.  She is hard work but also the most loving girl ever.  She would have clung to her granny like their lives depended on it.

I feel their loss everyday.  My youngest kids have another gran but she doesn’t like them.  She is missing out on so much but it is her loss.  I know that if my mum and dad were still here that they would be in my kids lives.  Of that I have no doubt.

So today I will be thinking of Peggy and Mick and the great job they did of raising thirteen kids.  We are all different, all have different skills and interests.  None of us are really alike but that is what makes life interesting.  We all however have a little bit of mum and dad in us.

Those are the heirlooms worth having.

P & M love ya xxxx










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